


'cause i'm awful just to see

by lipsstainedbloodred



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Car Accident, M/M, hurt!andrew, overuse of lowercase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lipsstainedbloodred/pseuds/lipsstainedbloodred
Summary: they'd be okay. that was enough for now.





	'cause i'm awful just to see

**Author's Note:**

> for the tumblr prompt: I dont know if you are taking prompts but I am craving for some Andreil angst (with a happy ending of course)
> 
> you can follow me on tumblr @cigarettesmokeandexyracquets

“you have to let me see him.”

“i’m sorry sir, but hospital protocol prohibits any visits to the icu by non-family members.”

matt and dan were leaning against each other in the waiting room chairs, dan falling asleep against matt’s shoulder but trying desperately to keep herself awake. allison was on the phone with renee who was stationed in haiti and definitely still asleep at this time of night. aaron was similarly on his phone, typing out a text to nicky who was awake and most likely at work. kevin was silent and pale faced in the corner, staring down at his hands, the false calm of the storm.

“i’m his husband,” neil snapped, drawing the attention of his friends.

dan jerked out of her half slumber, gripping matt’s arm painfully tight. aaron’s head shot up from his phone, jaw slack from shock, fingers falling still on his phone screen. allison’s eyes darted over to neil but she never stopped talking to renee. only kevin seemed unaffected by the news.

the surgeon looked down at neil’s ringless finger and his smile turned a little nasty, “sure you are,” he said and left neil behind in the waiting room.

neil looked prepared to throw a real fit, hands balling up into fists, but matt got up from his chair and moved in front of neil. “he won’t be awake for a while anyway, neil.” matt said, not unkindly, “come sit down.”

neil couldn’t sit or be still with this much angry energy in his blood. his hands itched to tear the hospital apart and burn it to the ground piece by piece until he could see andrew again. “i’m going outside for a smoke,” he said after a long pause.

matt shifted uneasily but nodded, “keep your phone on,” he said and then jerked his head in kevin’s direction, “and take kevin with you.”

neil raised his chin in acknowledgement and headed for the doors, stopping by kevin’s chair briefly to tap his shoulder in a gesture that was far more andrew than neil. kevin stood and followed neil to the hospital entrance. neil could feel matt’s eyes on his back as he left through the sliding glass doors and heard dan’s soft whispers when matt sat down beside her again, though he couldn’t make out clearly what she was saying.

kevin was silent and grim as they walked side by side out into the cold december air. neil followed the signs to the smoking area and sat down on a table, fishing andrew’s pack of cigarettes from his pocket. he flipped the top open and spilled the lighter and the few remaining cigarettes onto the table. he picked up one and lit it, holding it in his mouth while trembling fingers shoved the rest of the cigarettes back into their container.

kevin stood a good distance away, watching him. for a while neither of them said anything. neil watched the way the smoke curled up into the night from the end of his cigarette and kevin watched neil. “you’re going to freeze.” kevin said finally.

neil was still in his pajamas, the same clothes he’d been in when he got the call from kevin that andrew was in the hospital. he hadn’t even bothered to grab a jacket, though he had managed to grab his wallet and the pack of cigarettes from the table by the front door before he went sprinting out to the lexus. neil shrugged and took a drag off his cigarette to keep it lit, the smell reminded him of late nights and harsh kissed pressed into soft flesh and he closed his eyes against it.

“neil,” kevin said, a little more urgently, “what if he can’t play?”

“shut up kevin,” neil said with warning in his voice.

kevin walked closer until neil could feel the heat of his body next to him. “neil i saw his leg, it was-”

neil reached out and very lightly tapped his first two fingers against kevin’s left hand. he opened his eyes and looked up at his friend. “kevin,” he said in a soft voice, “if you keep talking i’m going to break your hand.”

kevin jerked his hand away and took a step back. the two fell back into silence as neil’s cigarette burned down to the filter. when the first cigarette was gone neil lit up a second one and kevin begrudgingly sat down at a table, realizing they would be outside for a while. two cigarettes became three which would have turned into four if matt hadn’t texted neil ‘ _a nurse wants to see you_ ’.

neil stubbed out his cigarette and rushed back into the hospital. a nurse was talking with matt outside the door to the icu. she looked up when neil and kevin walked in and smiled kindly at neil as he made his way over to her. “mr. minyard-josten?” she asked.

allison pointedly elbowed dan in the ribs.

“yes,” neil said.

“i’m sorry about the delay. dr. simmons is-” here she paused, possibly trying to think of a polite way to say _‘a real asshole’_ and failing. she shook her head and continued, “mr. minyard is starting to wake up if you’d like to come back with me.”

“take me to him,” neil said quickly.

the nurse nodded and punched in a door code, and opened the door for him. neil restrained himself from darting inside and running to find andrew. he shoved his hands into his pockets and followed the nurse to andrew’s room. it was right in front of the nurses station, the front wall and door were glass so the nurses could keep an eye on the patient inside, but the curtain was drawn to give the illusion of privacy.

andrew looked too small and pale in the bed they provided him, and the sound that fell from neil’s mouth was almost a sob. the nurse touched his arm lightly and he jerked away. she didn’t seem angry or offended, simply apologetic. “they tried to save his leg,” she said gently, “but once in surgery they realized there was too much damage.”

neil ignored her, walking over to the bed and pulling over a chair to sit on. she let him get comfortable and then said, “visiting hours are technically over, but if you want to stay the night i’ll have them pull you a chair from obstetrics to sleep in. it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world but,” she shrugged halfheartedly. neil nodded and the nurse stepped out to call in a chair for him.

neil found andrew’s hand resting on top of the blankets and grasped it in his. he brought it to his mouth and pressed a shaky kiss to the back of it. he realized belatedly that he was crying, silent tears streaking down his cheeks slowly. andrew was here, he was _alive_ , and that meant everything in the world.

he couldn’t stop thinking about the phone call. kevin’s shaky voice telling him that the maserati was totaled, that andrew and kevin had been pinned inside though the worst kevin had suffered was a few cuts and bruises. they’d been broadsided by an enormous truck, it’d hit them right in the driver’s side door and flipped the car into a ditch. he couldn’t stop hearing kevin say, “there’s been an accident” over and over again.

the nurse stepped back into the room and took andrew’s vitals, saying that the anesthesia was wearing off and andrew would be in and out of consciousness for a while. she gave neil a concise run down of  his injuries, from his broken rib and bruised shoulder all the way down to his left leg amputated at the knee. somewhere in the middle of her talking neil had stopped crying, but he never took his eyes off andrew’s face.

“they’ll bring that chair up as soon as they can,” she said at the end of her explanation, “if you need anything just hit the call button.” she gave him her name but neil couldn’t be bothered to care or listen.

it seemed like a lifetime in that room, neil listening to the steady beep of andrew’s heart monitor and the soft pattering of feet outside in the hall. someone came by with a chair that pulled out into a mockery of a bed for him. they glanced at andrew on their way out, but the blankness of their face meant they’d seen far more terrible tragedies. neil forgot them as soon as they were gone.

finally andrew’s hand twitched in neil’s and his breathing shifted into something a little more awake. neil shifted closer to the bed, half lying on it, when andrew woke.

“neil?” andrew asked, voice slurred with sleep and heavy with the morphine dripping into him.

“hey,” neil said, voice cracking, “andrew, hi.”

“what the _fuck_?” andrew asked.

“you’re in the hospital,” neil said, “you were hit by a drunk driver. they totaled the maserati.”

“kevin?” andrew asked next.

“he’s okay,” neil reached out and cupped andrew’s face with his free hand, sliding his fingers up into his hair, “a few cuts and bruises but he’s okay.” neil’s eyes drifted down to andrew’s legs, to where the blanket fell flat on the left side far earlier than the right.

andrew kept his eyes on neil’s face.

neil cleared his throat and looked back up, eyes on andrew’s. “they had to amputate your leg at the knee.” he said, knowing it was better to be blunt and get it over with.

“kevin’s going to bitch about that,” andrew said.

neil knew part of it was the medication keeping him drugged and probably not understanding the seriousness of the situation, but it was such an _andrew_ comment to make that neil choked on a laugh that turned into a sob. he kept his hand on andrew’s face and said, “i’m so happy you’re alive.”

andrew blinked slowly up at him and neil bent down to kiss the side of his mouth. neil’s face was wet with tears again but he couldn’t make himself care. andrew squeezed his hand a little and neil squeezed back harder.

there would be more talking later. neil would tell andrew about the asshole surgeon that wouldn’t let him into icu and the reactions that their friends had when neil told the surgeon they were married. andrew would go silent and stare absently at his leg and tell neil that he could still feel it hurting even though it wasn’t there anymore. they’d talk about prosthesis and andrew learning to walk again. they’d be moved to a regular hospital room where the rest of their friends could come see them; nicky would cry and aaron would talk with andrew’s doctors about what to do for his care. they’d talk about how this would change andrew’s career and their lives and how they would figure it out together.

but for now it was just this. it was neil with his hand resting in andrew’s, both their eyes falling shut as exhaustion settled into their bones. it was neil watching andrew’s eyes close before he let himself do the same, relief filling him as he listened to the steady beat of andrew’s heart. still there, still alive.

they were both safe. they’d be okay.

that was enough for now.


End file.
